i am very hopeful.

i was supposed to write in this every day. oops.
i never really come on here anymore. i think this summer i am going to work out a LOT and make myself not look so fucking weak. imma clean my whole house and keep it that way. i am going to get a job.
i will be alone but at least i can do something with my time.

i am
a heartbreaker,
a liar,
honest,
one voice,
a million words,
crazy,
sweet,
mean,
never alone,
always lonely,
scared,
worried,
lovely.

i have
pretty bones,
fucked up mind,
no ego,
no life,
chalk,
bubbles,
love love love,
heartache,
music!,
nothing,
everything,
problems.

i remember,
blue skies,
your smile,
the way she loved me,
the way she still loves me,
the way he is forgetting about me,
forgetting about him,
breathing,
driving for hours,
smoking pot,
taking pills,
slicing skin,
sucking boys,
feeling needed,
feeling slutty,
closing my eyes and wondering where i was,
wanting to be alive,
wanting to be dead,
realizing i have to stay alive,
her.

i need.
happiness.
honesty.
love.
simplicity.



the end.